Over the last year the vast majority of what I’ve written has been for children. I’ve been working on three picture book manuscripts which I recently had appraised and have now re-written and tweaked to be ready to submit to agents/publishers this autumn. I’ve also been writing limericks for an illustrated poetry book for kids that I’m in the process of compiling.
B is for… Books
And it’s been fun – I love writing for kids. But it does have its downsides. Quite apart from the fact that picture books and poems require endless hours of re-working, there’s a lot I write that I just can’t use because, well, it’s simply not appropriate. Maybe it’s just me with my wicked brain but sometimes the words take me down an entirely unsuitable path.
A case in point – one of my picture books is about a magic biscuit baker. I was writing a scene where the main character watches her fellow villagers going to his bakery and the affect it has on them:
But as the weeks went past she saw the others popping in
they went in with a frown but always came out with a grin
and everybody said how yummy all his biscuits tasted
‘Is he baking them with weed?’ She thought, ‘they really all look wasted!’
Needless to say, this didn’t make the cut!
Sometimes it’s not that the subject matter is risqué, it’s just not very child friendly:
There once was a fun-loving antelope
Who went to a dance on a party-boat
But while bustin’ some moves
She slipped on her hooves
Right into the path of a motorboat
Poor old antelope eh? Such a grim ending doesn’t feel very kid-friendly (and to be honest the rhymes were awful anyway). Still, grizzly endings are probably better than inappropriate imagery:
There once was a lazy giraffe
Who’d spend hour upon hour in the bath
Till her skin would all shrivel
Top bottom and middle
“I look like a scrotum!” She’d laugh.
(no offence meant to scrotums of the world, I was just looking for a more interesting alternative to ‘raisin’)
So you see, in writing for kids I do lose an awful lot in editing. Maybe my next limericks (and picture books?!) will have to be for grownups?
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These are fab. I wish you all the best of luck in your submissions and have everything crossed for you x
Thanks Susan, I appreciate your support. xx
I love all of these! Maybe you should do a type of kids book for adults? Viz got away with it for years! Good luck with all of your submissions Maddy and I look forward to hearing how you get on. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought xx
Interesting idea Victoria! Thanks xx
Loved reading this Maddy, your inappropriate mind makes me giggle every time
Can’t wait to hear how you get on with your submissions xxx
Thanks Reneé – I just need to pluck up the courage to send things off!
We have colouring-in for grown-ups, we should definitely have limericks for grown-ups too!
Very true Lisa! Thanks for commenting x
You should definitely have an out takes book for adults, the one that didn’t make the cut these made me giggle!
Glad they made you giggle Tracey, thanks for commenting. x
Snigger …. I will never be able to look at a giraffe (or a raisin for that matter) in quite the same way again! #Prose4T
On the basis of you edits, I definitely want to see you write some adult limericks. #thetruthabout
Ditto what John said!
Thanks for linking up Maddy X #thetruthabout
I just saw the word scrotum in the linky thumbnail and had to read! How funny! You are so clever. xx #thetruthabout
Good luck with the editing for the picture books Maddy. I love your limericks and the biscuit maker baking with weed and the giraffe looking like a scrotum made me chuckle. Maybe you should do a book for adults as well!