“Have you stopped writing limericks Mummy? It’s been AGES since you did one!”
My seven-year-old was sort of right. I hadn’t written one for him or his brother since November. I did post a couple of limericks just before Christmas but I didn’t show them to my boys for fear it would ruin their image of Father Christmas!
Anyway, the answer to his question was “Of COURSE I still write limericks! What would you like me to write one about?”
His answer? “A pheasant.”. Here goes:
One Christmas, an unlucky pheasant
Was ill with a cold quite unpleasant
He coughed and he wheezed
Then explosively SNEEZED
Spraying globules of snot on his present.
Pheasant sneezing on a present (illustration by my seven-year-old).
My sons’ verdicts?
Five-year-old: “That’s disgustuling.” (Bonus points for new word.)
Seven-year-old: “D’you know that’s actually quite gross?”
They’re right of course, but then I never aim for high-brow when writing for kids. Perhaps I should next time?
I’m about to take a little blogging break over the festive period but I couldn’t go without writing a special Christmas limerick. This one ended up becoming one of my ‘story limericks‘ that spill into two verses. I haven’t shown it to my sons for fear it would ruin their view of santa…
Santa’s Special Delivery
One Christmas unlucky Saint Nick
Began to feel terribly sick
He leaned out of his sleigh
Yelled “Look out! Bombs away!
Duck for cover below me – and quick!”
He was (thankfully) over the sea
So no one got splashed with his tea
Then our dear, festive dude
Having thrown up his food
Filled our stockings up nausea-free!
Merry Christmas everyone – I hope you have a joyful, restful, wonderful time and a very Happy New Year! xxx
My last post was on a heart-wrenching subject so I felt in need of something lighthearted… time for another limerick challenge! This time I wrote about a unicorn. My sons provided the inspiration and illustrations as always. The black-winged, purple unicorn is by my five-year old and the distinctly dragon-y one below was carefully drawn by his big brother (aged seven).
As usual, please forgive bad rhymes and general ridiculousness!
There once was a job-seeking unicorn
Who filled in a flight-staff recruitment form
But aeroplane seats
Don’t fit mythical beasts
And the poor thing looked daft in the uniform!
Unicorn uncomfortably wedged into an orange and blue uniform (I think he’s decided not to board the flight)
Over the last year I’ve written masses of limericks. It started one December morning with a limerick I wrote about my son’s imaginary grasshopper and evolved into a ‘limerick challenge’ where I wrote (for a while, weekly) limericks on a subject of both my sons’ choosing and they provided the illustrations. But I got so hooked on limericks I wrote more and more. Some were even published a few months ago in an anthology by IRON press.
I’ve now reached my twentieth limerick challenge and to mark the occasion I decided to do something a bit different. Instead of taking inspiration from my kids, I asked Chrissie from Muddled Manuscript to provide a subject for my latest rhyme. She chose a tricky one for me so I figured it was only fair she provided the illustration. So, without further ado, here’s a platypus limerick, artfully illustrated, of course!
A young, insecure duck-billed platypus
Believed she was more of a ‘fatty-pus’
Said her friends “Don’t be dim,
Your shape helps you swim!
Besides which, we think you are fabulous!”
Hope you like it!
If anyone else would like to take up the limerick challenge just supply me with a theme. You will, however, also need to provide an illustration. Otherwise it’s cheating. Hehe.
Linking up with Prose for Thought and the Wonderful World of Writing
It’s Halloween this friday so I just had to do a spooky limerick challenge! As usual my sons (aged 7 and 5) provided the inspiration and the illustrations:
There once was a vampire called Dracula
Whose blood-sucking skills were spectacular
Till once day he took
A swipe at a cook
And was staked through the heart with a spatula.
A cook (with bakers hat) staking Dracula. In pointilistic style – which seems appropriate (point… geddit?)
The boys asked me to write a penguin limerick a while ago. This weekend I finally managed to come up with the necessary ridiculous rhymes. I ended up writing two because I couldn’t bear to leave poor penguin in the difficult predicament! As usual my sons provided the illustrations:
There once was a tragic young penguin
With a beak that just kept on extendin’
It grew long and rubbery
And got caught in some shrubbery
Where his wailing was truly heart-rendin’
But luckily people nearby by
Responded to poor penguin’s cry
They untangled his beak
Got him back on his feet
Then all shared a warm apple pie
Penguin with his beak caught in the shrubbery – but don’t worry: help is on the way!
View of Miniland from the Sky Rider
Yes, we went to LEGOLAND! This isn’t remotely a sponsored post (ha, I wish!) I just wanted to write about it because we really did have a great time.
We went for two days (over my son’s fifth birthday) and stayed overnight in the Legoland hotel which was amazing. Expensive but worth it. We had a pirate-themed room which was plush enough to keep us parents happy, and fun enough to totally capture the boys’ imagination. There was Lego art on the walls, a pirate bunk bed, a treasure trail across the carpet which led to a safe that the boys had to unlock (to reveal lego gifts inside), and a big box of lego to play with. The kids even had their own section of the room with a TV tuned to the lego channel! Awesome.
The park was great too. We had a Q-Bot which meant we could jump the queues (you still have to wait after you’ve chosen your ride but just not in the queue which makes a massive difference especially when you have an eighteen- month-old in tow!) and we managed to go on twenty-one rides! The boys LOVED it and although the park was crowded and we were knackered with walking and sleep deprivation (thanks to the baby) we kind of fed off their excitement and had a great time too.
My five-year-old said it was ‘the best birthday ever!’ so obviously I had to write a limerick about it:
For our five-year-old’s birthday we planned
A trip to the great Legoland
We all had such fun
(Three kids, Dad and Mum)
That our real, brick-free life seems quite bland!
*** EXCITING NEWS ***
If you’re visiting via #Prose4T then you might be interested in my new writing linky which starts next Tuesday 9th September. It’s called “What I’m Writing” and it’s for writers, poets, bloggers etc. to share posts about your creative process: aspirations, successes, doubts, rejections (we’ve all had them), trials and triumphs. I’ll be running it with Chrissie from Muddled Manuscript. More info is here. We’d love to see you there!
A couple of days ago the boys asked me to write a limerick about a chameleon. This is what I came up with (please forgive the dodgy rhymes, ‘chameleon’ is a tough one!):
I once met a sporty chameleon
Who boasted: “You know, I can REALLY run!
I’d beat you hands down
In a race round this town
With my powerful legs and my steely bum!”
boastful chameleon confused by failure.
My just-turned-seven-year-old drew the picture above to go with it. When I asked why the chameleon was losing (I assumed he would win the race) he said “Because he’s a show-off and show-off’s never win. Even when they win they really lose because they’re showing off and no one likes that.”
I rather like this idea- that winning is more than just coming first; if no one is happy for you or likes you then you ultimately lose. But because it was breakfast time and I couldn’t really get my head round the philosophical standpoint, I decided to write another limerick to tell the rest of the tale and make sure that Mr Boastful Chameleon got his just desserts in a straightforward way:
So the show-off and I had a race
“I’ll win!” he said “I’ll get first place!”
But three steps from the line
Success became mine
When he tripped and fell flat on his face!
This is the first time I’ve written limericks that follow on from each other. Maybe I could write a story in limerick form at some point? Or would that be mad? I suspect my sons would love it though!
Zebra (carrying baby zebra)
It’s been nearly a month since my last limerick challenge! How did that happen?!
Today’s limerick has actually been brewing for a long time since the boys first asked me to write one about a zebra about three months ago. But what on earth rhymes with zebra? Deborah and then, well, pretty much nothing (although I discovered ’cause celebre’ via an online search). I just couldn’t make it work.
Then the other day I decided that there was no need to rhyme the actual word zebra as long as the limerick was about some of the attributes of a zebra, and so the the following limerick was born:
A tap-dancing zebra named Claire
Gave recitals beyond all compare
For under stage lights
Her contrasting stripes
Made it seem she was only half there!
partially visible zebra dancing on stage
As always, the boys illustrated the limerick for me. My 4yo drew the picture at the top. He loves babies so insisted it had to be of a mummy and a baby zebra. My 6yo did the drawing directly above. He’s learning about pointillism in school and decided a half-visible zebra was the perfect subject matter for a picture made entirely of dots!
I’ll try not to leave a month between limericks next time!
A very fat kitten wearing an amazing hat.
I’ve been really focused on writing my novel recently but I felt like it was time for a little break and a Limerick Challenge. My sons were undecided as to whether to choose ‘a kitten’ as a subject for a limerick or ‘Yoda’. So I gave them both, thus earning myself some (sorely-needed) mum points! Here’s my limerick:
There once was a starstruck young kitten
Who with Yoda from Star Wars was smitten
“He’s gorgeous!” she said
“With his hairy, green head.”
By the love bug she’d surely been bitten!
Kitten proposing to Yoda. Thankfully he accepts!
As always, the boys illustrated the limerick. Having seen these drawings, I’m not entirely sure they know what a kitten looks like but I do like the marriage proposal!