Do you ever feel like there are so many different things you want to write you don’t know where to begin? At the moment I’m trying to write picture books, a psychological thriller and an adventure story for kids. I’m also slowly putting together a book of ghost stories and there’s an idea for a book – which is possibly Young Adult – that I’d love to explore too. Oh, and then there’s this blog.
Where should I focus my attention? Am I wise to be trying to write so many different genres? Should I just pick one and concentrate on developing my abilities in that area instead of spreading myself so thin?If these questions sound at all familiar then FEAR NOT, HELP IS AT HAND! A recent study from The Institute of Silly Suggestions has indicated that there is an easy way to work out which genre you should be dedicating yourself to.
As Professor Random Speculation explains, “Our investigations revealed that what writers eat and drink is an excellent insight into the type of writing they are most suited to.” Professor Tenuous Link added, “Simple things, like a favourite hot drink or snack can give clear indications of where they should focus their energies and talent,” while her colleague, Dr Wildly Implausible also commented, “We’re adding the finishing touches to a questionnaire right now which, when answered honestly, will give dazzling insights into a writer’s future possibilities.”
And guess what? By extremely clever and devious measures, here at Writing Bubble I have managed to get my hands on an advanced copy of the aforementioned questionnaire. It’s yet to be formally published so you are one of the very first writers in the world to be able to read and make use of it. Just answer these six easy questions and reveal your destiny!
Question One: What is your usual breakfast?
A – Cereal in the shape of smiley faces or animals. Or smiley-faced animals.
B – Crumpets with runny strawberry jam that oozes out of the holes and across the plate. With a very sharp knife.
C – You flit from cereals to baked goods on a whim but generally, as long as it’s sprinkled with sugar, you’re happy.
D – Toast cut into triangles and presented in a sterling silver toast rack. With butter in a little dish.
E – You rarely eat breakfast. This morning you couldn’t reach the table due to levitating three feet above it in your prototype hover slippers. Last week you tried to cook sausages in your thought-powered frying pan but got distracted by a new brilliant idea for suggestive bedding and things got a little out of hand.
Question Two: What’s your favourite biscuit?
A – Malted Milk biscuits dunked in milk. No, Jaffa cakes. I WANT BOTH!
B – Jammy dodgers. You like to gouge out the centres with your fingernail before devouring them mercilessly.
C – You prefer cupcakes with pink frosting.
D – Shortbread on a fine bone china plate with a doily.
E – Whatever they’re serving on the jet.
Question Three: What’s your usual lunch?
A – A soft-boiled egg with toast soldiers.
B – A burger with lots of ketchup – you like the way it squelches out and drips on to the plate with every bite.
C – Pancakes with sugar, raspberry sauce and chocolate sprinkles.
D – Cucumber sandwiches.
E – It’s hard to eat on a camel.
Question Four: What’s your favourite hot drink?
A – Hot Ribena.
B – Black Coffee.
C – Hot Chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows.
D – Tea – served properly in a proper tea service and with lemon, not milk.
E – Your current favourite hot drink is one you devised yourself recently, it’s like a cross between coffee and a summer’s breeze with a hint of spiritual awakening. Might be your best beverage yet.
Question Five: What’s your usual evening meal?
A – Fish fingers and potato smiles. With peas on the side to flick across the room.
B – Steak. Rare and bloody.
C – Steamed fish and green beans – you are trying to lose weight after all – washed down with something fizzy.
D – Grouse with vegetables before retiring to the drawing room.
E – A slap-up feed somewhere fancy before your premier.
Question Six: What’s your favourite Tipple?
A – Orangina
B – Whiskey on the rocks in a smokey bar.
C – Gin and tonic or gin and biter lemon. Or just gin.
D – Whatever your butler fetches from the wine cellar.
E – Champagne… especially on a mountain peak – the altitude does wonders for the flavour.
That’s it – time to interpret your answers!
Mostly A’s – You should be writing for children. Now run off and play.
Mostly B’s – You’re clearly cut out for the Crime/Thriller Genre. Actually I’m a bit scared of you.
Mostly C’s – Chick lit. (Call me later I’ve got some juicy gossip to divulge.)
Mostly D’s – Historical novels. People did things properly back then, didn’t they?
Mostly E’s – With those achievements I assume you’re writing your autobiography. Probably in a hot air balloon over the Andes. (Either that or you’re a brilliant fantasist…)
Mostly none of them, all of them or any of them depending on your mood – You’re a blogger at heart with the ability to mix and match according to what appeals to you and your readers. Have fun!
I hope that has been revealing! Let me know what what you learned.
And in all seriousness – Do you think there are any traits that can be associated with particular genres? I’m almost tempted to set up my own institute and do some some research!