One of my toddler’s favourite games involves pretending to go to bed. My prescribed role in this is to join him under the bed cover (usually with it pulled up right over our heads so we’re kind of in a tent) and he then orders me to go to sleep.
As any parent of young kids knows, it’s almost impossible to stay awake in this situation, but he takes care of that particular issue by waiting for the precise moment I’m drifting off and then shrieking “MORNING!” in my face. Perhaps to better ensure my continued wakefulness though, a few days ago he added an extra element to the scenario:
2yo: “Mummy, close your eyes.”
2yo: “Are you cosy?”
Me: “Yes, I’m very cosy, thank you.”
2yo: “Ok, you go to sleep now.”
Me: *mumbles sleepily* “Of course.”
2yo: *sternly* “No, you NOT go to sleep like that! You say hot shoes!”
Me: *baffled* “Er… hot shoes?”
2yo: *frustrated* “No, not hot shoes! HOT SHOES!”
Me: “Ummmm… *tries again* hot shoes?”
2yo: ” NO! Not like THAT, like THIS: hhhhhhot shooooooes.”
Me: “OH! You want me to snore!”
I swear, fake snoring sounds exactly like ‘hot shoes’. Go on, try it now (especially if you’re in a public place) – see?
From now on, snoring will always be ‘hot shoes’ to me.