I am besotted with my baby. There’s just no other way of putting it. He’s eleven months old now which seems to me to be a completely delicious age: he’s full of character but hasn’t started to assert himself and shout ‘no’ at me yet!
Of course, I love his older brothers just as much, and my feelings for them have grown into something more complex as they have developed. I think maternal love can only grow deeper as children get older and become more themselves.
But there’s something so primal about the way a mother loves a baby and which is reflected right back in the way a baby loves her. I’ve never spent more than a couple of hours away from my little one but when I greet him after any separation it’s still a thrill for both of us.
And he’s my last baby so I’ve been really making sure I make the most of our time together. Milestones this time round are bittersweet because I know they are the ‘last firsts’. That sounds a bit maudlin which is not how I mean it; I love seeing him develop. It’s just sometimes, especially after his bedtime feed when I’m alone with him in the near-darkness and he’s all warm and sleepy in my arms, I can’t help but wish I could freeze time somehow. To stay in that moment where life is as simple as the bond between us. That’s what inspired me to write this poem:
Beloved
You are warm in my arms
snuggled to my chest
soft hair tickling me
with every breath
My gaze caresses you
drinking you in
the curve of your brow
your flawless skin
Plump cheeks flushed
in the nightlight’s glow
pink lips tracing
a cupid’s bow
Your eyelashes fluttering
as dreams drift by
contentment caught
in a sleeping sigh
As I stroke your fingers,
brush your nose with a kiss
I ache at the thought
of losing moments like this
And wish I could capture
forever this time
when, tiny and perfect,
you are utterly mine.
I’m linking this up with Prose for Thought over at Verily Victoria Vocalises.
Lovely, I can really see the lips – I know just what you mean. I love looking at my daughter asleep. She’s three now but my last so still a baby to me.
Thanks Stephanie. There’s something special about a sleeping child I think. Even my six-year-old seems like a baby when he’s asleep.
So beautiful. My heart ached as I read it and it brought back very happy close, fond, memories xx
Thank you! Glad it brought back good memories. x
Aw beautiful – I love watching my wee one sleep!
Thanks. Yes, I think it’s quite addictive! My older two went through a stage of sharing a bed (their choice!) and I used to sneak into their room to see them curled up together like contented puppies.
Oh this is just beautiful. My little girl is over 2 now. Barely any baby left. But she still curls up in my arms for her bedtime drink of milk. Its the nicest part of the day xx
Thanks Helen! Yes, bedtime cuddles are wonderful with kids of any age I think!
I really love this. I feel exactly this about my littlest. He’s only 6 weeks and I’m making sure to really enjoy every moment as much as I can. The nighttime feeds I was desperate to sleep through with number 1 are suddenly so special as it’s the only time where I really get to just be with my baby. You’ve captured this perfectly. Well done
Thank you Philippa, this comment really made me smile – it’s great to hear that you know exactly what I mean. x
Being a mother is such an amazing experience. Beautiful poem #MagicMoments
It really is amazing. Thanks for commenting!
Lovely poem, I think every mother feels this way looking at their little ones. #magicmoments
Thanks Danielle, I think so to.
I love it if I go out for a couple of hours and then the boys are so excited to see me x
Moments like that make the hard parts of parenting worthwhile don’t they? Thanks Louise.
I am also wrapped up in appreciating my “last firsts” – the time goes so fast. I don’t want my baby to grow up!
#MagicMoments
I agree! And third time round it all seems so much easier too – I can enjoy my littlest’s baby years more than I could his older brother’s because I am so much more relaxed!
Lovely photo. I always loved the pictures of mother and baby in bed. unfortunately neither of my child ever fall asleep on me or with me and if they did my luck there would be no one there to help capture the moment. Its such a sweet loving picture. I love your poem too. I do a lot of poetry on my blog, especially ones about parenting and my kids. Just great. #magicmoments
Thanks Jenny. It’s actually a photo of me with my first-born taken six-and-a-half years ago! No such pictures exist of me with either of the other two but first time round we photographed everything all the time! Kids are a great inspiration for poetry aren’t they?
Aww! Beautiful post x
Thanks Kim!
awww this is beautiful and so true xx
thank you for sharing and linking up with #MagicMoments x
Thanks Jaime. I think #MagicMoments is a lovely linky!
This completely sums up a baby to me. Such perfect words
I love it. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought x
Thanks Victoria. I’ll be linking again tomorrow!