a new chapter

boys at the lakeside

My three boys in the lake district this summer – already feels like a lifetime ago!

Today was the first day of the new school term – the day my eldest son started middle school, my youngest started school nursery and my middle son went back to cheekily sauntering his way through the education system. It was the day for jumping out of ‘summer mode’ and back into routine. It was always going to be a big day for a nostalgic sap like me and, as expected, I felt all the feels:

Amazed pleasure – when my eldest two boys got up and were halfway through breakfast by the time I staggered downstairs (bleary-eyed after a fitful night dreaming about a daddy-long-legs attack… don’t ask), and then went and got themselves ready for school without any prompting at all. :)

Pride – when my eldest walked off with his best mate towards his new school with nothing more than a grin of excitement, a fond wave and ‘see you later’! in my direction. No nerves whatsoever!

Sudden desire to slap myself in the head – when I realised I’d failed to mention any sort of plan for picking him up. “I realised you didn’t tell me where to meet you after school!” he said later (totally unfazed) “But I saw Alex’s mum and asked her and she said you were coming to meet me at the phone box.” Good old Alex’s mum.

Frustration – at having ‘Slipping Through My Fingers’ by ABBA on repeat in my head for most of the day. “Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture… ” Seriously, those lyrics, I know they’re about a daughter rather than a son but apart from that. Ouch.

Excitement – at starting my #WhatImWriting linky up again after a summer break and seeing people’s posts pop into my inbox and feeling that sense of anticipation about writing and blogging and, best of all, having my writing gang back together again!

Jitters – all morning I had this weird nervous energy. Couldn’t settle. Kept making cups of tea and not drinking them, or boiling the kettle and not pouring the water, or pouring the water into the mug without boiling the kettle first. I needed to go back to tea-making 101 clearly.

Nostalgia – at being back in the school nursery for the third (and final) time. It’s been six years since I first walked through those doors with my first son. It feels exactly the same and totally different.

Actually thinking I might cry – in the reception of the first school where I saw my eldest’s smiling photo on a noticeboard for the school council. The noticeboard is out of date of course – he’s left the school but seeing him there wearing his old school uniform… and then realising he wasn’t at the school any more and would never wear that uniform again… *sob*

Happiness – at seeing my fellow-school-parent-friends and then getting messages from other friends asking me how I was feeling and sending me photos of their kids in new uniform and all of us sharing all the, “this is it! A new stage!” excited emotion.

High-as-a-kite thrilledness – when we were all suddenly planning coffees and nights out and catch ups after the summer. I’ve missed everyone and I love, love LOVE knowing people are going to be around more and that we’re actually going to be able to meet during the day sometimes without kids!

Bliss – on a sunny afternoon walk through the forest with my youngest after his nursery session. He’s always been a brilliant little companion. We strolled along slowly examining bark and twigs and sunlight through the trees and when we got back he said “That was a lovely walk together, Mummy” and my heart melted.

Relief – because all the boys had a good first day. We had ice lollies in the garden and they told me all about it. My eldest was so happy and has already made new friends.

Happy excitement with a hint of disbelief – at realising this is the start of a new chapter where I have more time to myself to write and draw (and clean the house which shouldn’t excite me as much as it does) and to catch up with friends and just be myself by myself more than I’ve had a chance to in nearly a decade!

And now with a glass of wine and three boys upstairs asleep and some of my favourite blogs to read, I think I might have hit… contentment.

Writing Bubble

24 thoughts on “a new chapter

  1. Turning Up In Devon

    You’ve posted such a gorgeous photograph! I’ve got a few photos of my kids which capture a moment like that and they are priceless.
    I too love the freedom of time alone to work and be creative but also miss the lovelinesses of having them around. x

    Reply
  2. Cara

    I had to google that Abba song, and now it’s playing in the background, and I’m wiping tears off my cheeks!
    I know what you mean about the so much to do, and glad to have it, and then spend ten minutes working out how to make a cup of tea. I swear I have a brain somewhere. So glad that What I’m Writing is back, and happy to be in the group.
    Cara recently posted…Return: A poetry postMy Profile

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  3. Sophie Lovett

    All the feels indeed :) Such a lovely post that almost made me well up at times too! I feel like I’m experiencing a micro version with Leigh’s two Arthur days – definitely identify with the nervous energy and sense of wonderment at actually having some TIME! Hope all the boys are still enjoying school and that you’re relishing the time to yourself xx
    Sophie Lovett recently posted…All changeMy Profile

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  4. jude

    Aww, 1st days back at school is always bittersweet. I daren’t look up that Abba song in my current mood. That photo of your son in the reception of the school has given me a lump in the throat, let alone you! Glad to be joining in with #whatimwriting. (Always been a fan since Britain’s Next Best Blog Post days – I used to run their roundup posts and #whatimwriting was always a mine of good posts.)
    jude recently posted…Seeds and Switches – a spoken word poem about moving at the speed of natureMy Profile

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